Emotions makes us who and what we are . Controlling emotions is like binding yourself. What are emotions? It’s all about how we feel, which may or may not result in us acting the way we feel. It’s like behind the scenes, not behaviour or actions that we do but what we feel. I guess more than behaviour or actions our emotions tells true picture . Emotions tells us what we are. That’s why it’s difficult to judge people. We hide our emotions all the times. Revealing them will make people judge them, which most of us are not comfortable with. So being a control freak like Chanakya who never places any importance on emotions or a simpleton who is emotional acting true to his self ….which one is better ?
I feel it’s important to act and behave in congruence to your emotions or else it will create a friction. This friction will burn you our sooner or later.
Sometimes we recover from these frictions, learn our lives more harmoniously yet sometimes we break down mentally.
It was crowded there with bodies some yet breathing and few like a log of wood on a pile of wood. Air was filled with fragrances and a distinct smell.
I was feeling mixed emotions, liberated and scared at the same time.
Liberated that all my tensions, emotional distress, etc. are momentary. Ultimately I will die with no one inside, no thoughts, no sensations, no worries, no wealth nothing at all. I felt peaceful. I wanted to live every moment without worrying.
Yet deep down scared which was at physical level. I was trying to feel what if I can feel and sense while I am being burned yet unable to move. And to my horror there was option to burn the bodies inside a chamber with CNG. I imagined trapped inside that chamber with CNG flares burning and screams confined in that chamber filled with horror and pain. Trying to get out but unable to do so.
Ironically people outside were shedding tears, praying for a place in heaven while I am getting torched inside that hell.
I always felt some weird uneasiness, with me all the time. As if something is latching on to you. You know it’s there but can’t see it. What scares me the most is not being able to recognise it, it creeping in to your soul. Suddenly it becomes you. Most of us never understand it and thought we are our genuine self. We take it as part of us, like soul and body.
Opinion vs Influence vs Manipulation
But wait, take a breath , think about it. As a child we say things the way they are, as we start to grow up the words we use to describe situations start becoming more and more complex, with lot of ambiguity and are multifaceted.
What we think in comparison to what we feel in comparison to what we say in comparison to what we do, for a moment cast away all the layers and be true to yourself, at all of these stages the truth gets manipulated little bit every time.
But why? I assume we manipulate ourselves but don’t want to feel the guilt (or we forget that it’s a opinion which becomes something that influence and at last something that manipulate ). Hence we blame it on society , family, friends and what not. This internal manipulation is something I feel always, do you feel that way? We want to shy away/ run away/ confront our stereotyped fear imposed again by, the above mentioned people i.e. society, family, friends etc. but as it is an automated defence mechanism, from these not so real fears, we let it pass every time.
These laid down guidelines tell us that if you are not as per me there is something wrong with you. That’s where manipulation kicks in, we manipulate ourselves and others to feel that we are in this world following what a civilized, sensible person should do.
Some of us never understand it but feel scared about it and becomes cowards. Others recognise it and use it for selfish motives ( here is the true paradox and I love it. Gives me headache for real as I don’t want to see beyond it as it will shatter the realities I am living, making everything meaningless. These selfish motives like being famous in our group, to appear cool , to get a lot of money and promotions, to be loved as ideal son, wife, husband, mother are in it self manipulations used by society. So we are being manipulated to be manipulative. So should I stop doing what world wants . Yes, but wouldn’t it will be like again getting manipulated by the thought that world manipulate you. So isn’t all our actions are influenced which is in reality manipulation ( or is it). Or is there a line which differentiate between manipulation and influence. Is it right to be manipulative? Is ethical manipulation for real or is it a myth? A child who have no notion of fear also knows if he will cry he will get say milk, attention etc. Is that child manipulative? It is natural for us to be manipulative, I don’t know. Just a thought, am I writing this to be manipulative….. hmmm… No its anger. It somehow opens this side of me. Lets get back) . Very few I guess recognise it and overcome it , don’t use it as a tool to achieve what they want. For them it’s a self realisation. It needs a lot of courage as everything becomes clear, everything you clinged on to may become a lie ( to me it comes as fear , what will I live for, what will be my motive to live. Have I wasted so many years in wild goose chase. Funny, I know it but still denying it) or it may reinforce by giving an alternate viewpoint. This realization may break you or may take you to heights you never imagined. I will end it by saying we should not stop when we understand and see through manipulations yet we grow beyond using it. I know it’s difficult but still do you want to live a manipulative life?
Empathy is the most dangerous weakness one can have . Act you are empathetic, but only act. When you start believing in it world calls you a fool. Yeah that’s right keep your sorrows to yourself as only you know the pain rest all can interpret it in their own way. For them its not painful thing as these are your very own sorrows. For them its one more opportunity to feel that someone is in worse condition than them. It’s sadistic pleasure, which they hide very well, they get from others sorrows. We humans are full of deception.
inside and insights of minds 